Living with OCD

Delaying compulsions means increasing the amount of time between when an intrusive thought or obsession shows up and when you respond with a compulsion.

In recent years, psychedelics like ketamine have received a lot of buzz for their potential to help with mental health conditions like depression,

If you’re living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), it’s likely you want to explore all of your treatment options. While research shows that

Pure obsessional OCD (pure O) is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in which people experience obsessions—intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges,

Contamination OCD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder marked by intense fears of germs, dirt, or illness, leading to compulsions like excessive

Expecting a child is a huge life change—and with it can come a wave of new emotions, responsibilities, and expectations. When OCD is also part of the

If you have OCD—or you’ve done enough research on the subject—you may be able to pick up when others are displaying signs of the condition. Maybe you’ve

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With recent news coverage of plane crashes, it’s reasonable to have some concerns about safety before booking a flight. While flying remains one of the

Managing OCD at work can feel like an uphill battle. Whether you’re starting a new job or have been at the same place for years, balancing your work

This has always been a part of me. I was born this way. It’s not something that you can catch. It’s not like the flu, or some smashing case of food poisoning that will soon dissipate while you go back to your regular life in peace. I still have intrusive thoughts and contamination fears, some of them are still the same as when I was a child. But after successfully completing ERP, my body doesn’t react the same way it used to. Sometimes I need to refer back to my notes and build a new ladder to see results. When I get overwhelmed in my life, my OCD will swell and try and take over again. Sometimes I need a booster session, but most of the time I can do it on my own.

I live a beautiful, warm life because I know who I am and because OCD does not stand in my way. I still have intrusive thoughts (not about my sexuality—for me, OCD finds a new theme to latch onto when I get bored of one). I am not debilitated by them, though. I am not perfect at resisting compulsions, but I’m pretty good. I’m pretty good. 

When I was at my worst, I read stories like this of others that made it to the other side and it was a lifeline I needed. Hope. As you read this, that’s what I want to share. Hope from the other side. It gets better. Life is still good on the other side. Healing isn’t linear, but you can’t quit on your worst day- I had so many. I can’t wait for you to see life over here in recovery. It really is so beautiful. 

After so many years, I have started fighting hard to get better because I was finally ready to. OCD is so hard to live with that I gave in to it for so many years because the thought of having to tackle my problem was too overwhelming because I knew what it entailed. Everything happens for a reason, and I can't change the past and don't look back.

As a teenager, I was frequently hospitalized at psychiatric inpatient facilities. I honestly liked being there, I felt safe. There were nurses if anything bad happened with my health and I was behind so many locked doors that no one could come in and hurt me. In February of 2023, I was officially diagnosed with OCD for the second time. This is when I finally began the correct treatment after seeing a therapist for anxiety for 3 years and just getting worse.

The memory hoarding became obvious to those around me when I started rewinding television shows and movies a few seconds over and over again until the same dialogue had been heard five or ten times. I knew it was annoying, but it wasn’t enough to make me stop. And how could I ever explain to people that the reason I was doing it was that I didn't understand it, I wasn’t processing it, or I couldn’t remember all the details, and the panic I felt about it made me feel like the world was ending.

Mom was often late to work as a result of tantrums caused by OCD symptoms. Her daughter was also late to school many times. It was stressful and exhausting and as parents, the Clarks felt helpless. They knew their daughter needed help and they understood that early intervention would be best. What they hadn’t expected was just how difficult it would be to find a specialist who could treat her. Due to her age and the limited availability of OCD specialists, finding help was no easy task. However, they lucked out when an acquaintance told them about NOCD.

In retrospect, I see that I struggled with OCD all of my life. I recall that when I was very young, my sister innocently told me that the pilgrims died from not washing their hands enough. This would create a severe compulsion which led to my hands bleeding.  I also developed an intense fear of falling asleep. I worried that I would die in my sleep. I would wake up nightly and sneak into my parent's room to ensure that they were still breathing. I needed to know that they were still alive. I can now see that these behaviors were not normal childhood precautions, but rather something more sinister.

I feel like I have the motivation to live my life again. Before treatment, I had just been going through the motions. Now I can truly say that I am experiencing joy again. I have been getting out more. I envision possibilities now. I now feel capable of learning new things. I have a renewed sense of hope. Even if something is not perfect, I will do my best and it will be enough. OCD isn’t going to rule my life any longer. I’m in the driver’s seat now! 

I can confidently say that I'm doing well, diligently managing all my mental health disorders and making steady progress in my recovery with each passing day. It hasn't been an easy road – filled with its share of highs, lows, and even relapses – but it has instilled in me the enduring power of resilience, the unwavering importance of perseverance, and the undeniable strength of the human spirit. My story is but one chapter in the vast tapestry of human experiences. We all encounter our unique challenges, but together, we share the indomitable capacity to overcome and thrive.