Living with OCD

Do you speak freely with some people in your life, but find it impossible to utter a word around others? Selective mutism (also called situational mutism)

If you struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), it’s easy to feel alone. You might even think that OCD is a curse—something that will inevitably

Relationships are complex, period. Throw obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) into the mix, and you’ve got even more to navigate. As one NOCD community

Just two years into her comedy career, Kristy Quinn has already shared the stage with some of the biggest names in comedy: Tiffany Haddish, Bobby Lee,

Summer’s arrival is often eagerly anticipated by kids. As the school year comes to a close, many children count down the days until they’ll have more free

In theory, we know we should take care of ourselves. But in real life, stressors come fast, from all directions: work, life at home, bad news online,

You deserve a life filled with an abundance of health and happiness. Mental health and self-care play a key role in making that a reality.  Yet, 55%

You leave a dinner party and can’t stop mentally replaying that one interaction you had—did you offend this person? You finally get into bed to relax and

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can be debilitating—for the person who has it, of course, but even for others who are close to them. You might be at a

If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), Dillon Tucker’s struggle will be a familiar one: He went to talk therapy when he started experiencing

OCD will be part of my life until my last breath.  It’s a hard thing to live with, and it’s not fun.  But, I do have the ability to not let it destroy my life, and have a proven track record to show for it. 

Since starting my recovery journey with NOCD, my life has changed and is much more positive than I could have ever imagined. OCD moments still happen daily, but they no longer take up days, weeks, or months. They are moments that do not control my life, and my recovery includes understanding that OCD isn’t going anywhere. It’s going to be here, and it is up to me to decide the role I let it play.

I felt like I had no control. I had no control over my compulsions. I felt completely powerless over the things my illness wanted me to do. It was as if a kidnapper was holding me hostage, and spewing troubling words constantly into my brain. Instead, it was not a kidnapper. It was not a real, evil person trying to manipulate me. It was just a chemical imbalance in my brain that made me see life so much differently. I was so much stronger than my thoughts, so why was I letting them take everything from me?

Now, as an ERP specialist with a BFRB specialty, I find it fun to be experimental with my own OCD.  At first, this treatment feels like torture. It's hard.  You feel like sometimes you're going to fail or that you can't handle it.  But guess what?  We're here to show you that you can handle it and you're going to eventually tolerate the heck out of it. 

I hope my story can give hope to someone else who is in a dark place. I was convinced that my OCD was treatment-resistant and that I was the “special” case that ERP wouldn’t work for. I was wrong, and I’m so glad I took a chance to reclaim my life. I now embrace my identity as someone who will always have OCD. The harder days don’t mean that things can’t improve, and having a mental illness doesn’t mean I can’t live a full and meaningful life. 

While compulsively googling,  I found an article about harm-themed OCD. It finally clicked. I now knew that I was dealing with OCD and had been for a long time. It had gone undiagnosed. It was then that I realized that what I had thought were actual suicidal thoughts previously were actually a form of OCD called suicidal-themed OCD. OCD had been causing confusion and disruption throughout my life. The article I found linked me to NOCD. I set up a call right away. I have now been working with my NOCD specialist for 6 months. This decision was life-altering. I am now living in recovery with OCD.

After college, I went back to school to become a nurse. I remember being so excited about starting my career and looking back at all the hard work I did to get to where I was. It wasn’t until I started working as a nurse that my OCD decided to take the stage. I would excessively check to make sure I didn’t make a medication error and make sure I completed all my documentation. OCD thrived on my fear of losing everything I worked so hard for.

There may be other people suffering in silence, just like me 2 years ago, who can't find a way out and who don’t understand what’s wrong with them. I want everyone to know, no matter how tough you are, no matter what the circumstances, please speak up if you are struggling with thoughts like mine. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to get past many obstacles in the process. But you will get there. Don’t let mental health get in the way of your hopes and dreams, I know I certainly won’t.

Try and understand, and educate yourself about what OCD is all about and what it isn’t about. Too many people have the wrong idea about this very debilitating illness. If you are struggling, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Reach out to those around you. Talk to people, and get the help that you need. You don’t need to suffer alone. I did that for too long. There is hope. I feel so happy now, even after having some bad days still. I know that the word “therapy” may sound scary to many people, it is trying to trust the unknown. It is unpredictable. It is uncertain- everything OCD hates.

Three years ago I was in the thick of the worst experience of my life. I was constantly scouring the internet trying to find someone with the exact same issues I had. I was haunted by the idea that it must be something else. I want people to know that you can get better from this. There is hope. I have been told