Summer’s arrival is often eagerly anticipated by kids. As the school year comes to a close, many children count down the days until they’ll have more free time, fewer obligations, and a much-needed break from schoolwork. But not every child welcomes summer’s change in routine with open arms.
For some children with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), summer can be a source of dread. A child with OCD may find summer’s lack of structure and a familiar routine extraordinarily difficult—and the same could be said for their parents, who may notice these difficulties manifesting as an increase in OCD symptoms.
If it seems like something might be “off” about your child’s mood or behaviors—maybe they’ve started to follow strict routines, or you’ve noticed they seem more anxious than their peers—read on to find out if it might be OCD and, if so, how you can help your child manage their symptoms throughout the summer months.
1. Watch for signs that they’re struggling
It has often been said that the flip side of anger is fear, and never is that more clear than in a child with untreated OCD. Children often lack the ability to appropriately express what they are thinking or feeling in words. Their language, so to speak, is often their behavior, which makes it imperative that we, as adults, pay attention to what they do and not just what they say.
All behavior has meaning. A child’s anxiety can show up in the form of screaming or throwing a tantrum. It can look like isolation, sadness, or even the explosive anger we commonly view as a “meltdown.” However, no matter the outward presentation, the emotions that a child with OCD is experiencing are likely the same: intense fear, uncertainty, and a need to regain some sense of control.
2. Understand how they might be feeling
Because of how widely misunderstood OCD is, it’s not at all uncommon for children who are struggling with the condition to be mislabeled as “being difficult” or “having behavioral problems” when their distress presents as anger. This is unfortunate because the child is trying to communicate something important, even the people around them don’t understand it.
OCD can make children feel so out of control. Its distressing intrusive thoughts can feel incredibly realistic to people of all ages, and children who suffer from them can end up convinced that their most frightening fears are sure to come true. They may even feel responsible for preventing the worst-case scenarios running through their mind, creating a sense of hypervigilance that can take an immense toll on a child, and may play a role in the emotional outbursts mentioned earlier—which brings me to my next point.
3. Anticipate summer meltdowns…
Maybe the true question is not “How can we avoid a summer meltdown?” Maybe a better question is “How do we cope with them when they inevitably happen?” Given the challenges of summer—the hectic schedules, swimming lessons, sports, camps, vacations…all sorts of activities that may not take place during a school year—there is an increased likelihood of OCD rearing its ugly head.
Fortunately, early recognition of OCD can make a huge impact in this area. Getting a child the appropriate treatment for OCD sooner rather than later can improve not only their mood, but also their ability to handle stress in the future.
4. …and get the appropriate support
If you think your child might have OCD, it’s crucial to have their symptoms assessed by someone who specializes in OCD. A specialist will have the expertise to deeply understand how OCD presents in children, be able to determine which behaviors stem from the condition, and be trained in the most effective treatment for OCD: exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.
An OCD specialist will also be able to create a personalized treatment plan for a child’s unique symptoms and needs. As part of this treatment plan, they can help parents come up with appropriate responses that encourage their child to practice living their life to the fullest, despite the anxiety they might be experiencing.
Getting proper OCD treatment can also help parents and children learn to not avoid these intense feelings, but instead to apply healthy coping techniques and face them head-on. This process will reduce the severity of a child’s OCD symptoms in the long run, as well as decrease their negative impact on loved ones.
5. Stick with your summer plans
During the summer, many parents fall into the trap of avoiding the things that cause a child anxiety. This is understandable—after all, a parent’s instincts are to protect their child from discomfort and pain. Parents who avoid their child’s triggers may even think to themselves, “It’s just easier this way.” And that may be true…in that moment.
But remember, parenting effectively involves more than coping with immediate problems as they arise. As parents, we also need to be teaching our children how to manage their emotions in the long run and guiding them toward behaviors that offer lasting benefits. OCD is a chronic condition, so the sooner a child can learn how to effectively address their uncomfortable emotions, the easier it will be for them to live a fulfilling life driven by their values and desires, not what OCD wants for them.
6. Take a strategic approach
Summer break, and vacation in particular, may be difficult at times for a child who has OCD. They may have meltdowns or intense emotional responses that may not make much sense to those around them. Understand that they are learning through these experiences. They are finding out that they can do the things they believed they couldn’t do.
And as they learn more about OCD and how to manage it, there will be victories. They will have moments where they recognize that they can be anxious and still have fun—that their feelings don’t have to hold them back from living life on their own terms. Of course, your support as a parent will be crucial here. You will need to learn the skills to help them take their power back and make decisions based on what they want, not on what their anxious thoughts and feelings are telling them.
For example, maybe your child is afraid of contamination and pools or oceans seem “off limits” to them. As their parent in this situation, you can help them gradually explore what happens if they do allow themselves to go into the water. This is best approached by working alongside a therapist who specializes in OCD, who can help you establish a game plan ahead of time based on your child’s specific triggers.
7. Give yourself grace—and support of your own
Remember, you’re not alone in this battle. Many parents are facing similar struggles and many others have walked this path before you, facing challenges of their own and gaining insights to share. I encourage you to seek out support from other parents in the OCD community and, if you feel it would be beneficial, to look into therapy of your own.
Just as we teach our children that they can do hard things, we must also recognize that as parents, we can—and do—accomplish hard things every day. When it comes to helping our children live the most successful lives that they can, we are their most valuable resources.
To find out more about how ERP therapy with NOCD can help your child take the power away from OCD, book a free 15-minute call with our team.