Cayla, a mom with OCD, shares how she and her 12-year-old daughter, Serenity, have navigated their OCD diagnoses. Through NOCD, they found support, online tools, and treatment needed to manage their conditions. Cayla opens up about recognizing the signs of OCD, building trust in therapy, and supporting her daughter while navigating her own mental health.
Cayla, 31, is a mom who has been living with OCD since she was a child. When her 12-year-old daughter, Serenity, began showing signs of OCD, Cayla faced a new challenge: helping her daughter navigate the condition, while also managing her own symptoms.
Through NOCD, Cayla and Serenity found the support, online tools, and treatment they needed to feel relief. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy helped Serenity feel more in control of her thoughts and responses—giving her what Cayla says was the best possible start to symptom management.
OCD in adolescents isn’t discussed enough, but is something many face. Cayla hopes that by sharing her and her daughter’s story, she can help others feel less alone. She wants families to know that you can learn to live a fulfilling life, even with OCD—no matter your age or situation.
Trusting a therapist with your child can feel difficult—what made you feel comfortable trusting your daughter’s therapist at NOCD?
It was the open communication that gave me confidence. Her therapist reached out regularly to update me on Serenity’s progress and to ask if I had noticed similar behaviors at home. That level of involvement made me feel like we were all working together as a team. My daughter also developed a strong connection with her therapist, which made all the difference. I could see how much she trusted her, and how comfortable she was opening up.
It’s a scary thing, as a parent, to trust someone else with your child’s mental health, but having that strong partnership with her therapist made all the difference.
Find the right OCD therapist for you
All our therapists are licensed and trained in exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), the gold standard treatment for OCD.
Living with OCD is incredibly difficult, but I can only imagine the challenge of watching someone you love going through it. Can you tell me about what it felt like to start noticing OCD symptoms in your daughter?
It was heartbreaking. The guilt was overwhelming because I never wanted her to go through what I did. Seeing her deal with similar struggles made me determined to get her the help she needed as quickly as possible. I didn’t want her to face the same barriers, or carry the same shame.
How did you approach her about her symptoms?
I explained to her gently that mommy has OCD too and that it’s something we can work through together. I didn’t go into details about my own intrusive thoughts right away because I didn’t want to scare her, but I made sure she knew she wasn’t alone and that OCD wasn’t her fault. I worked with my therapist to figure out how to explain OCD in a way that she could understand, without feeling overwhelmed. Staying calm and showing her that OCD isn’t something to be scared of made all the difference.
How did your daughter react?
At first, my daughter kept asking me: “Why does my brain do this? Why do I feel like this?” She wasn’t familiar with the stigma, but she was definitely scared of the thoughts she was having. Her therapist worked with her to reframe the way she saw OCD, and to understand that it doesn’t define who she is. Therapy gave her the tools to face her fears and realize that she could live a happy, fulfilling life, even with OCD.
How has she responded to ERP therapy?
ERP therapy has helped her become more confident, and manage her triggers better. Before therapy, she would avoid certain activities or situations altogether because they felt too overwhelming. Now, I’ve seen her face those situations head-on and handle them with so much courage. She’s also started doing more things independently, like going to family events. It’s amazing to see how much progress she’s made.
What guided you towards your own OCD diagnosis? Was there a specific moment or event when you knew?
The defining moment for me was in August of 2023. My anxiety was so severe that I couldn’t work, eat, or even be present in my own life. The intrusive thoughts I experienced during that time were so intense they became a full-body experience—I could feel them physically. It was terrifying, and I realized something was really wrong.
I started doing my own research and that’s when I found NOCD. At first, I was skeptical of ERP therapy, because I was scared it might make things worse, but I knew I had to try it.
What kinds of intrusive thoughts were you facing?
The intrusive thoughts I was having were some of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I had constant thoughts about strangling my son, even though I loved him more than anything, and would never want to hurt him. I also had intrusive thoughts about harming myself or harm coming to those I love in ways that felt completely disconnected from who I am as a person.
These thoughts made me feel like I was losing control, like I wasn’t safe to be around people—even though I wasn’t actually a danger to anyone. It was so overwhelming and isolating, because I didn’t understand why my brain was doing this to me. The guilt and shame made it hard to talk about them, which only made things worse. It wasn’t until I learned about OCD that I started to understand that these thoughts didn’t define me and weren’t my fault.
When did you start therapy for your OCD?
I started therapy in 2024 after hitting my breaking point. My therapist at NOCD was my first experience with ERP, and while it was incredibly hard, it was also the thing that saved my life. There were many moments where I wanted to quit, but my therapist’s support kept me going. Over time, I started to see real progress. Even now, I have good days and bad days, and I check in with my therapist occasionally to manage symptoms. Therapy hasn’t just helped me cope—it’s given me my life back.
There are so many options for therapy. What made you choose NOCD and stick with it?
It was really the community that drew me in. I went on the NOCD website, started looking at the community, and it was a light bulb moment for me. Reading the stories made me feel so much less alone. At first, I avoided [support groups] because I was scared other parents might judge me. But, when I finally joined, I felt so much better.
The accessibility of the therapists was another huge factor. Knowing I could message my therapist if something came up—and that they would respond quickly—gave me peace of mind. I rely on my daughter’s therapist a lot for this too. If she’s having a rough day, her therapist can message her directly or schedule something right away, which is so helpful.
Ultimately, what made me stick with NOCD was knowing that the therapists specialize in OCD and ERP. Without NOCD, I wouldn’t have made the progress I’ve made.
Community discussions
How do you balance managing your own OCD, while supporting your daughter?
I’ve worked with my therapist a lot on this, because the guilt and shame of not always being there for your kids can hit hard. I’ve learned that it’s okay to take time for myself when my OCD is at an uptick. I make sure to have “me time,” whether that’s doing my own ERP, or just taking a moment to regain my balance. If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of my kids.
[It] also helps knowing that Serenity has a therapist she can turn to, even if I’m having a bad day, and can’t be there for her. Her therapist is so accessible, and I rely on her a lot. That peace of mind—that my daughter always has someone there for her—makes it easier for me to take a step back when I need to.
Balancing my own emotions while supporting hers can be really hard, but I’ve come to realize that managing my triggers and finding emotional balance is the best way to support both of us.
What advice would you give to parents who have children with OCD?
The biggest thing I would say is, don’t show any fear. Stay calm, be non-judgmental, and show love and support. Let them know they’re okay, that there’s nothing wrong with them.
When kids are going through this, they already have so many emotions and so much happening in their minds. Just hearing, “you’re going to be okay, I don’t love you any less, and I’m not scared of you” can make such a difference. Ask them what they need, and if they’re not sure, suggest therapy. Say, “Why don’t we try this? Let’s see if it helps.” Patience is key.
It’s scary for kids, especially when they don’t understand what’s happening in their minds. Being calm and steady is one of the best ways to help.
We sat down with Dr. Jamie Feusner to talk about the groundbreaking results of a brand-new study on children & adolescents with OCD, the largest study of its kind to date. You can read our full Q&A with Dr. Feusner to learn how thousands of families are achieving life-changing results with NOCD Therapy.