Answers to OCD questions you’re too scared to ask

When you have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), searching for answers about your condition can be overwhelming, sometimes leading you down a rabbit hole of information that makes you more stressed and anxious than you already felt. The thought of searching for a specific answer can be triggering itself, causing you to ruminate and debate whether or not you are experiencing something you fear, or what it means about you as a person. You might feel scared to accept that you’re curious about the topic. 

Whether it’s intrusive thoughts, compulsions, or just the unknown, it’s normal to be unsure or even scared to ask certain questions. To help you out, we decided to do the hard part and gather answers to some OCD questions that you might feel afraid to ask. 

How do I know if I really have OCD?

OCD is a mental health condition characterized by intrusive thoughts, urges, or feelings that seem to come out of nowhere. These obsessive thoughts can feel overwhelming, and in response, you might engage in repetitive actions or mental rituals in an effort to calm the anxiety they cause. Whether these compulsions are physical behaviors or internal processes, they often provide only temporary relief, leaving you feeling trapped and frustrated as the cycle continues. This pattern can make everyday life feel much harder to manage.

“Any repetitive actions or mental compulsions, in response to doubts or questions that are often unanswerable, are indicators of having OCD,” says Alessandra Rizzotti, LCSW. She explains that sometimes people with OCD even doubt that they have OCD, causing them to overlook rumination or checking behaviors as compulsions.

If you feel like you may have OCD, or are curious about possibly having it, the best thing to do is speak with a mental health professional. They can provide an accurate diagnosis and help you learn how to manage OCD symptoms. 

Am I the only one who has these thoughts?

Not at all. OCD can often feel isolating, but the truth is, most people with OCD have troubling thoughts or imagery that replays in their minds. Sometimes we may feel scared that our thoughts are so disturbing that no one else could possibly be experiencing the same thing. But, as Stacy Quick, LPC says, “It is vital that individuals with OCD know that they are not alone. There is hope. OCD is treatable and there is a whole community of people with similar experiences.”

Mainstream media often portrays the more ‘approachable’ OCD symptoms, like excessive hand washing, counting things multiple times, or a desire to have things in perfect order. As a result, you might feel like your thoughts and feelings are worse than other people’s, especially with subtypes like harm OCD or worries about pedophilia. 

However, this is not the case. A 1993 study surveyed people who did not have a diagnosed mental health condition and listed the different intrusive thoughts they experienced, including more taboo subjects. Some of the more common intrusive thoughts included swerving into traffic, having sex with an unacceptable person, engaging in a disgusting sexual act, or seeing authority figures naked. Remember that your OCD and intrusive thoughts do not define you as a person, just as they don’t define someone without OCD.

Do my thoughts mean I’m a bad person?

It’s totally understandable to feel rattled by intrusive thoughts and wonder what they say about you, especially if they seem really out of character. But here’s the thing—thoughts are just that: thoughts. They don’t define you, and they certainly don’t mean you’re a bad person. In fact, checking, googling, or ruminating about being a bad person are all less obvious types of compulsions, according to Rizzotti.

In an article on intrusive thoughts, April Kilduff, MA, LCPC, LMHC explains that intrusive thoughts are “ego-dystonic,” which is what makes them so disturbing. Ego-dystonic thoughts do not align with our real desires, values, beliefs or feelings. It’s okay to feel unsettled, but it’s also important to remember that these thoughts are a symptom of OCD, not a reflection of your character.

Can I ever stop performing compulsions, or is this just who I am?

It is important to remind yourself that OCD does not define you. That being said, it can sometimes feel like your compulsions have taken over, which is very frustrating. Quick explains that in order to break the cycle of OCD, you need to allow the discomfort of “what ifs” instead of trying to get instant relief from compulsing.

“You must learn that you don’t need to engage with distressing thoughts, images, or urges that come your way,” Quick says. “To break the cycle, you must remain diligent. Consistency will be your new best friend. You will need to make a choice: allow these often terrifying feelings to be present and fade on their own, or try to fight them off, only for them to return later with a vengeance.”

Compulsions might feel like they’re ingrained, but they’re behaviors driven by anxiety—not a permanent part of your identity. The good news is that with the right treatment, specifically exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, you can break the cycle. 

ERP is the gold standard treatment for OCD and works by gradually exposing you to your fears without relying on compulsions for relief, helping you to build a new relationship with anxiety. It takes time and practice, but ERP can help you get over your compulsions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

How do I ask for help for OCD?

The best way to seek help for OCD is to talk with a licensed professional that specializes in ERP therapy. Sometimes asking for help and taking that first step can feel like the scariest part of the journey, but it is also key to recovery and leading a healthier lifestyle. 

NOCD community member @Cornelius123 sums it up perfectly: “Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s ok to talk about issues and to look into (OCD) medications to help. So many people just stay silent and try to be brave. It takes real courage to admit you’re scared and need a little guidance.”

If you feel like you’re not ready for treatment, you can also read books written on OCD and participate in caring online communities to connect with others that share similar thoughts and experiences.

Will OCD treatment be painful, or will it change my personality?

ERP is helpful, but it’s not always easy. It requires you to live in the discomfort of uncertainty and resist compulsions. While it is not physically painful, ERP “can feel like a big workout. But with pain comes gain,” shares Rizzotti. “You start to learn how to tolerate distress by expanding your window of tolerance,” she adds. The window of tolerance for someone with OCD is the amount of triggers and stress they can take on without giving into their compulsions.

OCD treatment will not change who you are at your core, but it can help you feel better and lessen your symptoms.  Rizzotti points out that if you’re worried about your personality changing during recovery, it might help to shift your mindset. Change can sometimes feel unpleasant, but it also offers opportunities for growth. Embracing the possibility of change can lead to personal development in ways you never expected.

Bottom Line

Living with OCD can feel like an internal battle between what your brain is telling you and what you know to be true. The anxiety of searching for answers, the relentless doubts—it can all be extremely overwhelming. Wherever you are on your mental health journey, remember that asking questions is okay, and it is normal to feel scared or worried. Remember, whatever steps you take, as small as reading an article or as big as talking to a therapist, you are doing something positive towards better understanding and managing OCD.