How many times have you heard the phrase “trust your gut”? Or “when you know, you know”? This rhetoric is helpful in some situations—but sometimes it just adds to the confusion.
You may wonder, Is what I’m feeling really anxiety? Or is this my intuition trying to tell me something? I know I’ve had these thoughts. It’s confusing to feel like you can’t always tell the difference between anxiety and what you “really” want. Intuition is touted as a hallmark of self-trust, and it’s scary to feel like you don’t know how to trust yourself.
It’s important to make a distinction between intuition and anxiety, because both self-doubt and anxiety are things that you can learn to manage and improve with the right form of help. I enlisted the help of April Kilduff, MA, LCPC, LMHC, specialized therapist and clinical trainer at NOCD, to learn more about the difference between intuition and anxiety, and what you can do to feel more confident in your wants, feelings, decisions, and values.
What is intuition?
Intuition, at its most basic level, is a form of knowledge or belief that’s based not in logical reasoning or specific information, but rather in instinct, general inclinations, or “gut” feeling.
The accuracy of intuition has been debated in research. Says Dr. Jean E. Pretz in the textbook Handbook of Intuition Research, “For decades, psychologists have viewed intuition as primarily irrational and unreliable.”
Pretz goes on to explain that a more recent body of research has emerged that, on the contrary, “documents conditions under which intuitions are not only accurate, but actually more reliable than judgements resulting from analysis.”
While intuition is not a perfect, all-knowing phenomenon, we may sometimes want to give our intuition (or at least, our perception of it) significant consideration. We might think it should be the end-all-be-all in making decisions, but it doesn’t have to be.
Whether or not we give weight to our “intuition” is up to us. And what’s more, if you’re reading this, you’re probably struggling to identify exactly what your intuition is in the first place—and what it isn’t.
“When you have an anxiety disorder, ‘go with your gut’ is not always great advice, because your gut is always telling you to escape or distract,” Kilduff says, “and you actually need to do the opposite of what your anxiety disorder is telling you.”
What is anxiety?
Anxiety itself is a feeling. It tends to come with stress, worry, fear, panic, and anticipation. Everyone experiences the feeling of anxiety at times. Anxiety can even be useful. It may prepare us for an important event or warn us of danger.
When anxiety feels unmanageable and is bringing you routine distress, however, it can turn into a chronic mental health condition. Anxiety disorders are a category of conditions that include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, and selective mutism.
Anxiety is also a prominent emotion involved in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD is distinct from anxiety disorders, but it was considered a member of the group for a long time, and the two share several important qualities.
Each of these conditions will vary in specific symptoms, of course, but anxiety disorders and OCD will generally have the following elements in common:
- Feelings of excessive and distressing worry, anticipation, and/or fear
- Asking yourself “what if?” questions that are most often illogical or irrational
- Ruminating (excessive overthinking) on those “what if?” questions or other worries, ideas, or thoughts
- Physical symptoms such as a racing heart, sweatiness, dizziness, shakiness, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues
“Anxiety is disproportionate to the triggers, and that anxiety causes high levels of distress and some degree of impairment,” says Kilduff.
“People commonly try to manage anxiety disorders in one of three ways: to just avoid whatever it is that makes them anxious, to distract themselves if what makes them anxious is around, and to try to get reassurance about what they’re worried about.”
But these behaviors actually aren’t effective ways to respond to anxiety. “Those things all work in the short-term, and that’s the problem,” Kilduff continues to explain. “They do pay off, but they don’t work in the long-term and just perpetuate the anxiety disorder.” Thus, the focus of anxiety treatment involves reducing those behaviors, also known as “safety behaviors.” It’s a slight misnomer, as they only provide the illusion of safety from a feeling that’s actually not dangerous at all.
As you’ve probably noticed, anxiety can feel as if it’s based on instinct, similar to a “gut feeling” or intuition. So with these definitions in mind, how can you know whether you’re dealing with anxiety or intuition, and whether or not you should listen to it?
How to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety
Anxiety comes from a place of fear. It’s often frantic and urgent in nature. It wants answers or action to happen right now. It’s not enjoyable, and you look forward to the feeling going away.
Intuition, on the other hand, is usually described as a deep knowing accompanied by a sense of peace or confidence. It’s not frantic, but calm. It aligns with your values and sense of self.
Anxiety tends to disregard your values in favor of fear.
“The main difference is that intuition is really about sensing something, it’s not really thinking about it. Anxiety is often sort of about overthinking something,” Kilduff says. “Anxiety may even try to override your intuition and take over.”
If you struggle with knowing the difference between intuition and anxiety, it might be more useful for you to replace intuition with values when making choices. You don’t have to factor your intuition or “gut feelings” into your decision making—especially if your anxiety or OCD tries to hijack it.
Maybe you’re not sure exactly what your values are. Therapy, along with treating your anxiety and/or OCD, can help you figure them out.
How can you get help for anxiety?
Whether you’re experiencing an anxiety disorder or OCD, the go-to treatment is the same. It’s a form of behavioral therapy called exposure and response prevention (ERP). Unlike traditional talk therapy, which can actually make your symptoms worse, ERP is clinically proven to be highly effective in the majority of people.
Basically, this approach allows you to stop being guided by worry and anxiety alone. Instead, you’ll learn to make decisions based on your own values, desires, intentions, and—yes—intuition and experience.
To help you accomplish this, a therapist with specialized training in ERP for OCD and anxiety will guide you in resisting safety behaviors and compulsions done out of anxiety. For example, if you always check your locks over and over before going to bed, that’s not intuition—that’s a symptom of OCD or anxiety. So in order to help you regain control over your behaviors, your therapist may start by having you only re-check your locks once, trusting that you can handle the “what if?” that pops into your mind.
It can be hard at first! But in time, this approach allows you to feel comfortable and confident living your life despite uncertainty and anxiety. You deserve to dictate your own decisions and actions—not anxiety.