Sex and sexuality are very taboo subjects for some folks, but especially in religion. Many religions consider fetishes, pornography, and other sex-related topics to be offensive and against God. Because of these beliefs, followers of these religions can face struggles when it comes to anything even minutely related to sex, such as wet dreams.
Most people experience wet dreams—ejaculation or orgasm while sleeping— at some point in their lives. While some can dismiss this natural occurrence, others, especially those who are deeply religious, may wonder if this act is sinful and worry about whether or not they’ve violated their morals and beliefs.
If you’re worried about your wet dreams, continue reading to understand what they are, why they happen, whether they’re a sin or not, and how excessive fears surrounding them could be a sign of a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) known as scrupulosity OCD.
What are wet dreams?
Before answering whether or not wet dreams are sinful, it’s crucial to understand what exactly they are. Tracie Zinman-Ibrahim, MA, CST, LMFT, NOCD’s Chief Compliance Officer, defines wet dreams—also known as nocturnal or nighttime emissions—as what occurs when you ejaculate while dreaming. For people with penises, ejaculation is when the penis releases semen or sperm, which can lead to someone waking up with wet clothes or bedsheets. This is why the occurrence is dubbed a “wet dream.” People with vaginas can also experience nocturnal emissions as well.
According to Zinman-Ibrahim, wet dreams can contain sexual content, but it’s not necessarily a requirement for this natural occurrence. In fact, research reveals that people get erections during rapid eye movement sleep (REM) sleep—which are known as sleep-related erections. This biological function has nothing to do with having taboo thoughts.
“You could certainly have a wet dream that was not associated with something sexual,” she says. “It’s more associated with that, but sometimes, people wake up and they don’t remember their dreams. They have no idea what was going on.”
Are wet dreams normal?
Yes, it’s normal to experience a wet dream. In fact, they’re quite common. Nighttime emissions typically begin during puberty as you transition from a child to an adult. Wet dreams are involuntary, meaning you cannot control when and if they happen. As people get older, they typically happen less frequently or disappear altogether.
Are wet dreams a sin?
There’s really no straight answer to this, as it ultimately depends on the influence of your religion and other factors in your life. “More likely than not, for religious reasons, people would think that wet dreams are wrong,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “It could also be seen as sinful if their parent shamed them after they had a wet dream.”
However, as previously stated, wet dreams are completely normal and uncontrollable and may result from something non-sexual in nature. So, if we look at the definition of sins—which is really subjective depending on who you ask—wet dreams don’t really align with them. “I would say a sin is something you choose to do and that you know is wrong,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “If you’re asleep, then it’s out of your hands.”
I would say a sin is something you choose to do and that you know is wrong. If you’re asleep, then it’s out of your hands.
Tracie Zinman-Ibrahim, MA, LMFT, CST
What does the Bible say about wet dreams?
The Bible speaks about nocturnal emissions. In the Book of Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Hebrew Bible and Christian Old Testament, Moses tells the men of Israel about ritual uncleanness. Moses says, “If any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp” (Deut. 23:10-11).
To put it in simpler terms, the Bible doesn’t necessarily deem wet dreams sinful, but rather “ritually unclean.” In the Old Testament, Israel had to obey certain laws—such as staying ritually clean—because God was often in their presence.
Of course, depending on what religious text you read (and what religion you follow), their beliefs around wet dreams could vary. However, if you’re a practicing Christian, rest assured that the text does not see wet dreams as sinful. For a wet dream to be sinful, there needs to be intention behind it. You need to be able to use reason and intellect to suppress the thought of being found guilty of sin. When you’re sleeping, reasonable judgment and intellect are absent, so it’s impossible to intentionally commit a sin by having wet dreams.
What if my wet dreams are affecting my life?
Since wet dreams are common, most people can have these experiences without it impacting their daily lives. However, if you’re religious, you might be deeply affected by your wet dreams because you feel that you’ve gone against your religion.
While some might repent for their sins and/or speak to their religious leader and eventually move on, others may face more significant distress that’s hard to overcome. “If you worry about it to the point where it’s distressing or bothers you so much that you can’t get over it, I suppose that would be a good indication that something’s wrong,” says Zinman-Ibrahim.
If you’re constantly ruminating over your wet dreams, you could be dealing with OCD. “If you’re obsessing about them, afraid of them, and you’re trying to do something to not have them, then it could be OCD related,” says Zinman-Ibrahim.
OCD is a mental health disorder that involves obsessions (intrusive thoughts, images, urges, feelings, and/or sensations that cause fear and anxiety) and compulsions (physical or mental actions performed to relieve distress from obsessions or to prevent something awful from happening). People with OCD are often stuck in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions that can be challenging to break without treatment.
A subtype of OCD that could be aligned with intense anxiety about wet dreams is scrupulosity OCD. Scrupulosity or religious OCD involves religious, moral, and/or ethical obsessions. People with scrupulosity OCD often experience re-occurring worry and guilt about disobeying a religious or ethical code and what it means to them as individuals. Scrupulous people can experience intrusive thoughts about something they thought or did—such as wet dreams—that may go against their faith or moral doctrine.
For example, if you’re a Christian and you’ve had a wet dream, you might think to yourself, “Do my wet dreams mean that I’m a sinner?” “Are my wet dreams a sign that I desire to engage in sexual acts against my religion?” “Will I go to hell for ejaculating while I was asleep?”
“Sometimes, people have sexually intrusive dreams about religious figures,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “There’s a lot of intrusive thoughts and images that can tie to religion because obviously people care about their religion and don’t want to think about these things.”
While the focus is on Christian OCD, it’s important to understand that intense fear or anxiety around wet dreams could appear with other subtypes or themes, notes Zinman-Ibrahim.
“Wet dreams could actually have to do with any subtype of OCD,” she explains. “What if it’s pedophilic OCD? What if it’s sexual orientation OCD? I’ve seen it across a lot of different themes. Maybe you had a sexual dream about somebody of the same sex, and you’re not gay, or vice versa. Your wet dreams could be about anything different than what you are, what you believe in, or what you want to do.”
How to stop wet dreams as a Christian
If you’re a Christian and are having wet dreams, you may be seeking a way to stop them completely. However, because it’s a natural occurrence, there’s no way to get rid of them entirely. “You can’t control your dreams,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “You can’t control them, and they don’t mean anything. That’s one of the most important things I like to say to people when they’re like, ‘What does this dream mean?’ I tell them they were asleep and that dreams don’t mean anything.”
However, if you’re having persistent fear and anxiety surrounding your wet dreams, it’s recommended that you seek help from a mental health professional.
All forms of OCD are treatable with exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. ERP is an evidence-based talk therapy that was specifically designed to treat OCD symptoms. The specialized therapy is clinically proven to be effective, with 80% of people seeing major improvements in their OCD symptoms. You’ll work with a trained therapist specializing in ERP to complete various exercises that’ll help you break the cycle of obsessions and compulsions and regain control of your life from OCD.
ERP begins with your therapist guiding you through exposures—such as writing an imaginal exposure about having a wet dream. “I might have them do an imaginary exposure where they imagine having a wet dream,” says Zinman-Ibrahim.
From there, your therapist will teach you response prevention techniques, which are strategies that help you refrain from responding to your triggers with compulsions. “I would have them say response prevention messages like, ‘I may or may not have a wet dream. I may or may not be sinful for having a wet dream,’” explains Zinman-Ibrahim.
While ERP can be super effective in getting your obsessions and compulsions under control, don’t expect a significant change overnight. It’ll take some patience, staying consistent with therapy sessions, and doing your homework to see changes in your OCD over time.
Bottom line
Despite wet dreams being something most people experience naturally, they could cause significant distress for religious people. If you’re Christian, you may believe these nocturnal emissions are sinful, but that’s just not the case. With proof that the Bible doesn’t see wet dreams as an act against God, you can rest assured that these natural and uncontrollable acts aren’t anything to be ashamed of.
But, if you can’t seem to let go of the idea that wet dreams are sinful, and you’re constantly ruminating on whether or not you’re a bad person for having them, please consider seeing a mental health therapist specializing in ERP as you might be dealing with OCD. They can identify your triggers, obsessions, and compulsions and work with you to create a personalized treatment plan so you can learn to overcome your distress surrounding wet dreams.
