You’re taking a stroll through the park and notice a young child on the playground. You think to yourself, “What a cute kid!” But then another thought comes: “Wait, what if I’m attracted to children? Am I a pedophile?” If you have recurring sexual thoughts about children, you may have a condition known as pedophile OCD (POCD)—a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Let’s be clear—everyone has a random, unwanted thought that pops into their head from time to time. However, there’s a big difference between unwanted thoughts you can easily dismiss and those that sit on your mind and cause distress. With POCD, fleeting thoughts like these can cause a lot of anxiety because you have an intense fear of being a pedophile.
If you believe you might have POCD, read on to learn about the symptoms, how it differs from pedophilia, and how treatment can help you overcome your fears.
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What is pedophilia OCD?
So, what is POCD? Pedophilia or pedophilic OCD is a subtype of OCD that revolves around unwanted sexual thoughts about children. All forms of OCD have two characteristics: obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are recurring intrusive thoughts, images, urges, or feelings that cause fear and distress. Then there are compulsions, which are repetitive behaviors—mental or physical—that are performed to get rid of the distress caused by the obsessions or to prevent something you fear from happening.
People often get stuck in the OCD cycle of obsessions and compulsions, and it can be hard to escape with proper treatment.
According to Tracie Zinman-Ibrahim, MA, LMFT, CST, the Chief Compliance Officer at NOCD, there’s no specific cause of POCD. “OCD is the cause of OCD,” she says. “You could get any theme, so there is no particular cause for one theme over another theme. The reason why we give themes is so people don’t feel alone, and they can identify with something.”
What triggers POCD?
There are no specific triggers that lead to the onset of pedophilic OCD. “It’s variable—what triggers one person isn’t going to trigger the next person,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “OCD attacks what you value and what you care about.”
She adds that because OCD often targets themes that mean the most to people, POCD may affect people with kids or those who work with them, such as teachers and childcare workers, but “there’s no particular way to trigger a theme.”
It’s variable—what triggers one person isn’t going to trigger the next person. OCD attacks what you value and what you care about.
Tracie Zinman-Ibrahim, MA, LMFT, CST
What are the symptoms of POCD?
People who think they’re a pedophile can experience specific symptoms tied to their fears. Here’s a look at common POCD symptoms:
Common POCD obsessions
- Did I sexually harm a child and forget?
- Did I click on child porn by accident?
- Will I become a pedophile in the future?
- Was I attracted to that child or teen?
- Did I ever do something sexually inappropriate around loved ones?
- Should I have children if I’m having these thoughts?
- Did I have a physical sensation after looking at that child?
- Does God hate me for having these sexual thoughts?
Common POCD compulsions
- Turning down jobs that involve working with children
- Compulsively avoiding children—maybe even your own
- Choosing not to have children
- Seeking reassurance from others (i.e., “Did that person look over the age of 18?” and “You would let me watch your kids, right?”)
- Watching content about pedophiles and comparing yourself to them
- Mentally reviewing present and past experiences for “evidence” of pedophilic behavior
- Watching child porn to check if your obsessions are true
- Making a list of reasons why you’d never be attracted to children and re-reading it every day
- Watching how others behave around children and comparing it with your own behavior
The relationship between POCD and false arousal
Have you ever looked at a child and felt an unwanted tingle in your genital area? It’s not uncommon for people with POCD—or any OCD subtype for that matter—to experience something known as a groinal response. A groinal response is a feeling of arousal, which could include anything from tingling, swelling, warmth, lubrication, etc., that’s typically linked to an OCD obsession, and which can actually be triggered by anxiety.
“The way it works with OCD is something like, ‘I’m not interested in that at all, but I have a body response that says I am,’” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “‘The more I pay attention to see if it’s happening, I’m starting to notice and maybe even making it happen more often.’ Then, people get really nervous because they think, ‘I walked by the school, and I saw a five-year-old, and I got a groinal response. This means I’m probably attracted to kids.”
Know that POCD arousal is not the same as sexual arousal—this is referred to as arousal non-concordance. Zinman-Ibrahim explains that OCD loves to take two puzzle pieces from completely different puzzles and try to put them together, leading to sexually intrusive thoughts that can cause you a lot of distress.
OCD loves to take two puzzle pieces from completely different puzzles and try to put them together, leading to sexually intrusive thoughts that can cause you a lot of distress.
Tracie Zinman-Ibrahim, MA, LMFT, CST
POCD is not the same as pedophilia
At this point, you might be wondering, “How is pedophilia OCD any different from pedophilia?” While the two may seem like they involve similar themes, they couldn’t be more different—and we’ll tell you why.
“Pedophile OCD looks like ‘Oh no, I might be attracted to people who aren’t 18,’” says Zinman-Ibrahim, “but this is only because that’s the last thing they would ever want.” On the flip side, someone who is a pedophile accepts and even welcomes those thoughts, and may fantasize about sexual contact with children.
Another difference between the two is that pedophilia doesn’t lead to compulsions. “If you’re a pedophile, you don’t do compulsions to avoid those thoughts because you’re not scared of them,” says Zinman-Ibrahim. “If you are scared, it tends to be more about getting caught and in trouble.”
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All our therapists are licensed and trained in exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), the gold standard treatment for OCD.
How to overcome symptoms of pedophilia OCD
Good news: like all forms of OCD, POCD is highly treatable with the right form of therapy. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy is the gold standard treatment for managing all subtypes of OCD. Often, people with pedophile OCD are referred to talk therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to overcome their symptoms, but these are not as nearly effective as ERP—and can even make OCD symptoms worse.
ERP therapy involves two parts: gradually, carefully confronting your triggers and intrusive thoughts (exposure), and using response prevention techniques to resist the urge to respond to compulsions for a sense of relief. To simplify all this therapy talk, ERP helps you break the OCD cycle and learn that there are other ways to cope with distress and uncertainty.
Before beginning any exercises, your therapist would look into the specific scenarios that trigger your intrusive thoughts, and the compulsions you respond with. “We would then look at reducing those compulsions and help you choose how to live a value-driven life. This helps you learn to co-exist with those intrusive thoughts or images that are happening, instead of trying to fight them with compulsions.” says Zinman-Ibrahim. Eventually, you learn that your intrusive thoughts don’t mean anything about who you are, and that using compulsions to fight them or run from them only makes them worse.
Bottom line
Having unwanted sexual thoughts about children can be very distressing and can make you feel like you’re a bad person. Know that these thoughts don’t mean that you’re a pedophile in any way, shape, or form—it’s just OCD messing with your mind. Working with a licensed therapist specializing in ERP can help you get your obsessions under control and live according to your real values.