When Do Parasocial Relationships Become a Problem?

Are you crushing on your favorite singer to the point where you fantasize about being in a relationship with them? Or, is there an actress or influencer you’re not necessarily attracted to, but you’re a major stan (a particularly devoted fan) and you consider them your best friend in your head? Many of us have one-sided relationships that are unlikely to come to fruition, but we enjoy them for what they are. 

Parasocial relationships are nothing new, but with the increase of stan culture, and big stars like Chappell Roan and Doja Cat calling out fans for being invasive, some might wonder if these one-sided relationships are healthy.

Keep reading to learn more about parasocial relationships and if they can be a sign of mental health conditions like celebrity worship syndrome (CWS) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

What is a parasocial relationship?

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships with real or imaginary people in the media. These media figures can be celebrities, influencers, animated characters, or anyone you might encounter on TV shows, movies, social media, radio shows, or podcasts. The term was originally coined by anthropologist Donald Horton and sociologist R. Richard Wohl in the 1956 essay “Mass Communication and Para-Social Interactions: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance.” 

Parasocial relationships can develop from an in-person or digital interaction, or through someone else who already has a parasocial bond with the figure, such as a friend or family member. For some people, a parasocial relationship can happen from the first time they see the media figure, or it may take a few times for that person to make a lasting impression that increases their interest in them. 

Parasocial relationships are often linked to friendships, but people can also develop romantic relationships with media figures. A good example of parasocial relationships is K-pop fans’ perception of being in a romantic relationship with their favorite idol. K-pop or Korean pop idols are celebrities (usually musicians) trained to uphold a certain public image and typically have a significant fan following. The fandom culture surrounding these celebrities often revolves around an intense infatuation where fans get upset if their idols get into real romantic relationships.  

Who is more prone to developing parasocial relationships?

A person’s attachment style can also influence parasocial relationships. Attachment styles are based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory, which suggests that how infants bond with their caregivers influences their social development. People can have secure attachments in which their caregivers give them the necessary care and attention. Or, they can have insecure attachments, which make them less trustworthy of their relationships in adulthood. 

So, how does this relate to parasocial relationships? Well, according to a 2015 study, people with an anxious attachment style—a type of insecure attachment—are more likely to have parasocial relationships. This is because the person may seek a source of security and comfort they don’t or didn’t receive from their caregiver, and they believe their media figure can fulfill those needs. 

Are parasocial relationships healthy?

Yes and no. According to Dr. Patrick McGrath, Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD, there could be some benefit to having a parasocial relationship. “To a very limited extent, if there’s someone you really respect and would like to emulate, that’s fine,” he says. “But if it goes beyond that, I’d be a little concerned.”

A 2024 research article reveals that parasocial relationships may reduce loneliness, provide a sense of security, and improve emotional regulation.

When do parasocial relationships become a serious problem?

For the most part, parasocial relationships are not a cause for alarm. However, if it’s to the point where you’re modeling your entire life off of them, it could be a sign of a more serious issue, notes Dr. McGrath. 

“We can lose our individuality because we think this person is the high point of life, and we no longer have self-expression,” he says. “We live according to what we think this other person is because we see them as a pinnacle of where we want to be.”

Celebrity worship syndrome (CWS)

A mental health condition that could be tied to unhealthy parasocial relationships is celebrity worship syndrome (CWS). CWS, or celebrity obsession disorder (COD), is an obsessive addiction disorder characterized by an obsessive fascination with someone famous. Currently, CWS is not recognized by the DSM-5 as a clinical condition.

Celebrity worship syndrome was coined by researchers Lynn E. McCutcheon and John Maltby in their 2003 study. This study suggested that there are three intense sets of attitudes and behaviors associated with celebrity worship, including: 

• Entertainment-social. The lowest level of celebrity worship involves people who enjoy following and talking about their favorite celebrities to friends and family.
• Intense-personal. At this level, people develop an intense emotional connection with their favorite media figure, such as believing that they’re soulmates.
• Borderline-pathological. The highest level of celebrity worship comprises people who cannot control their behaviors or thoughts toward their favorite celebrity. 

CWS is often linked with other conditions like depression, anxiety, as well as problems like dissociation (mentally disconnecting from your thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity), and body image issues. 

Symptoms of CWS can include the following:

• When somebody focuses more on the celebrity than themselves.
• Difficulty forming and maintaining romantic relationships.
• Addictive behaviors, such as obsessive internet use, compulsive buying, and similar behaviors.
• When somebody believes that the celebrity is in love with them (also known as erotomania).
• Being more prone to having narcissistic tendencies.

Are parasocial relationships a sign of OCD?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that can cause a cycle of obsessions and compulsions that can be difficult to escape without proper treatment. Obsessions are intrusive thoughts, images, urges, and feelings that can bring fear and anxiety. To cope with obsessions, a person may perform physical or mental actions known as compulsions to neutralize those negative feelings or to prevent something bad from happening.

You’ve likely heard someone say, “I’m so obsessed with (insert famous person here),” at some point in your life. While parasocial relationships could align with obsessive behaviors reminiscent of OCD in some instances, Dr. McGrath says that having this one-sided relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that you have this mental health disorder.

“We overuse the word ‘obsessed’ a lot in our day-to-day life, and it isn’t always OCD-related,” he explains. “I’ve seen the band Rush 30 times in concert, and people have joked that I’m a little obsessed with them. I got to a point where I even grew a ponytail to look like one of the people in the band. But if I didn’t listen to Rush for the next month or wear anything from them, it wouldn’t hurt my life or affect me in any way whatsoever.”

But we don’t want to completely dismiss the potential connection between OCD and parasocial relationships. Dr. McGrath adds that it could be possible for people with OCD to use these one-sided relationships as a coping mechanism. “Anything can be a compulsion,” he says. “Some people could use these relationships as excuses to not go to therapy. That could be a sign of avoidance or distraction.”

How to manage parasocial relationships

Typically, parasocial relationships are not tied to any serious mental health concerns. But if you get to a point where your parasocial attachment starts to feel a little unhealthy, it’s probably time to end the relationship.

Below are some ways you can get over a parasocial relationship:

• Remove the person from your social media. Your social media is likely where you have the most access to your media figure. You may want to unfollow or block their page (fanpages included) and any hashtags with their name. 
• Put effort into real-life relationships. Reconnect with friends and family members. You can also attend various events, volunteer, or join a recreational league, such as a volleyball or soccer team. Doing this not only helps you re-establish or develop new, in-person relationships but is also a healthy distraction from your parasocial attachments. 
• Go to therapy. If you are having a hard time overcoming your parasocial relationships on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist. They can work with you to determine if there are any underlying problems that need to be addressed to overcome this fictional relationship.

Getting help for mental health conditions

If your parasocial relationship(s) have become a cause for concern, you might want to get a formal assessment from a licensed mental health professional and start treatment.

Here’s a look at what treatment might entail for mental health conditions associated with unhealthy parasocial relationships.

Treatment for CWS

If you suspect you have CWS, work with a licensed therapist or psychiatrist familiar with the Celebrity Attitude Scale (CAS). This tool can help mental health professionals measure a person’s excessive devotion to celebrities and provide a formal diagnosis of the condition. From there, they can suggest the best treatment plan for your symptoms. 

There’s no specific treatment for celebrity obsession disorder. However, depending on the severity of your symptoms, it may involve a combination of therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. 

Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy for OCD

If you believe you are experiencing obsessions and compulsions, consider getting exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. ERP is a specialized therapy designed to treat OCD symptoms. It is backed by decades of research to be the most effective treatment for addressing the OCD cycle of obsessions and compulsions, with 80% of people seeing a significant improvement in their symptoms. You’ll work with an ERP therapist to create a personalized treatment plan to address your triggers, obsessions, and compulsions, such as parasocial relationships.

For example, if you have obsessions or compulsions around your favorite celebrity, an ERP therapist would help you identify your triggers and teach you healthier ways to cope with distress and anxiety instead of relying on your media figure for support. 

ERP starts with your therapist carefully exposing you to your triggers—which are exercises known as exposures. From there, they will then teach you response prevention techniques that will help you refrain from responding to your obsessions with compulsions.

Doing ERP therapy won’t guarantee that your OCD symptoms will completely go away, but you can see a significant change over time if you stick to your therapy sessions. 

 Bottom line

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with developing a strong bond with your favorite singer, actor, or social media influencer. Parasocial relationships are common and might benefit those experiencing loneliness or seeking security. But on the flip side, these one-sided relationships can easily become unhealthy and might be an underlying sign of mental health issues. 

CWS and OCD are two mental health conditions that could possibly be tied to parasocial relationships. Although they share a few similarities, it’s important to understand that CWS and OCD are completely different from one another.

If you believe you have CWS, OCD, or just aren’t sure of how to break off a parasocial attachment, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist specializing in obsessive disorders for help.