Going from high school to college can be a drastic change in anyone’s life. There are new experiences, new friendships, a new level of independence—in many ways, it’s a whole new world. It can be an empowering period of self-discovery and at the same time, it can be stressful.
For many students, this transition can involve feelings of confusion, stress, and a loss of control. They’re juggling a lot, after all: coursework, relationships, responsibilities, adjusting to campus life, preparing for future careers, and for some, living away from family for the first time.
All that is to say college can be a complicated time for any young adult. Having to deal with mental health concerns like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) on top of it all, as is the reality for many students, can create additional stress for both them and their parents.
But while college can be challenging, parents can still set their children up to manage OCD and enjoy their college experience.
If you’re new to OCD or your child was recently diagnosed
First, let’s talk about those of you who may be just finding out your child has OCD. Starting college can be a time of great change and unpredictability, so it makes sense that this is a period in which OCD would start to rear its ugly head. OCD doesn’t like uncertainty, after all, and what could be more uncertain than heading off to a new place and determining what you want to do with the rest of your life?
The good news is that there are things you can do to help your child maneuver through this new diagnosis and the struggles they might be facing.
1. Learn as much as you possibly can about OCD.
While progress has been made, OCD remains widely misunderstood and as a result, there’s still a lot of misinformation out there about the condition and its treatment. To avoid stigma and false narratives being spread, make sure you’re turning to credible sources for your information about OCD. The NOCD blog has an extensive library of resources and articles reviewed by some of the world’s top OCD experts. The International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) is another reputable source, as is The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
2. Seek out evidence-based treatment.
Since the mental health of college students is integral to their success, it’s crucial to ensure that your child’s OCD symptoms are being properly treated during college. The most effective way to do this is by finding a professional who specializes in OCD and is trained in exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. ERP is the most proven treatment for OCD and can help your child develop lifelong skills for managing their OCD symptoms. An OCD specialist will be able to tailor ERP to your child’s symptoms and unique needs and develop a personalized treatment plan so that they can navigate college efficiently.
3. Make a game plan.
OCD can affect a student’s college experience in a number of different areas, from their academic success to their social life. It can be helpful to familiarize yourself with these potential impacts and to look into resources at your child’s college or university that may be useful sources of support, such as tutoring services.
4. Take care of yourself.
Watching your child leave the nest and start this new adventure in life can be both rewarding and intimidating. As much as you might be focused on caring for their well-being, it’s equally as important to make sure you’re also taking time to care for yourself. Spending some extra time with friends and family members can be a great source of support. Seeking out a therapist for yourself can also be a helpful way to process your emotions and manage stress. Remember, we are in the best position to help our children when we are feeling our best.
If you’re familiar with OCD or your child was previously diagnosed
Now, let’s look at how you can help your child if you’re a parent who is already familiar with OCD. Parents in this position may have been through the process of receiving a diagnosis, learning more about OCD, and finding treatment for their children. They may have learned how to help their child when they lived at home and developed a routine that worked well for their family, but are now faced with the need to adjust to different circumstances and find new ways to provide support.
If that’s the case for you, here are a few next steps that may be helpful:
1. Learn about accommodation—and how to avoid it.
If you have participated in OCD treatment alongside your child, you may already be familiar with the idea of not accommodating the OCD. This will be an important skill to continue throughout their college experience; it will just look slightly different. You may have to be extra aware of sneaky ways that your college student may try to elicit accommodation, particularly through reassurance-seeking.
2. Encourage your child to find community.
Finding and connecting with others—both with and without OCD—can provide your child with much-needed emotional support and encouragement. You can help them connect with support groups and community resources that can be there when they’re facing OCD-related setbacks or challenges. Strengthening their social connections will also help take some of the pressure off of you to be their primary source of support and encouragement.
3. Lead by example.
The more comfortable you appear to feel about your child’s new adventure, the more likely they are to feel the same way. In other words, when you’re confident, they can become more confident. As they head off to college, you can continue to be their constant cheerleader, just as you were during their younger years. You can help them focus on the positives rather than the things that may seem scary at first by reminding them of their strength, and all of the times they “did the scary things” while in the throes of an OCD episode.
4. Help them accept the uncertainty that lies ahead.
The uncertainty of the future and what comes after college can be stressful—and that’s without throwing OCD into the mix. OCD can make uncertainty seem overwhelmingly stressful, so when you’re supporting your child through this transition into their adult life, it can be helpful to understand OCD’s relationship with uncertainty and how your child can practice accepting uncertainty. Remind them that it’s common to have hesitations and concerns around new experiences—and that everyone, at some point, feels lost or unsure about what their future may hold.
Finally, whether you’re new to OCD or it’s been years since your child’s diagnosis, remember that support is available. Seeking the guidance of an OCD specialist, like our therapists at NOCD, can be invaluable for both you and your child during this time of change. With proper treatment, students can learn to take the power away from OCD, build resilience, and fully embrace all that college has to offer, regardless of the challenges they may face.