Doubt is a universal human experience. It can show up in a number of forms, including calling a “truth” into question, being uncertain, lacking trust in something, or feeling inclined to not believe or accept it. And for some people, doubt—even if it’s uncomfortable—can easily be dismissed. Those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), however, are more likely to have a different relationship with doubt.
It’s why you may have heard OCD being called “the doubting disorder.” But what exactly does this mean, and how does it affect people with OCD? Let’s dive into the relationship between doubt and OCD, and how you can deal with doubts about having OCD—or about anything else.
Why OCD makes doubt seem hard to ignore
Every single human being has to deal with uncertainty and doubt throughout their life. There are very few, if any, things that we can be absolutely certain about. Still, most people can shrug off that occasional feeling or sense of doubt and continue on with their lives relatively unaffected. This is often in stark contrast to those with OCD.
People with OCD can seem almost hard-wired to find meaning in the content of their intrusive thoughts and obsessions—when there is none. Thoughts, images, and urges that other people ignore or easily disregard can feel urgent, terrifying, and threatening to them. It can be hard for them to recognize that just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s probable.
In short, OCD can make doubt feel like an overwhelming force. And what can be particularly difficult is that the doubt of OCD can latch onto anything—even whether or not you have OCD. These doubts about having OCD can be especially challenging for people who struggle with OCD themes or subtypes that tend to carry a lot of shame, such as POCD or Harm OCD.
The connection between doubt and shame
As someone who has dealt with OCD throughout my entire life and treated it in others as a therapist specializing in OCD, I’ve come to realize that those who struggle with OCD often doubt themselves on a profound level. They can end up questioning who they are and what they may be capable of. Fear and doubt overrule the part of them that knows what their values are, and that the thoughts they’re experiencing don’t align with their beliefs.
The shame and self-reproach that people can feel because of disturbing or taboo intrusive thoughts only adds fuel to the OCD fire. The individuals I have met over the years who struggled most with the concept of accepting doubt and uncertainty have been those who felt that their thoughts, images, urges, or feelings were too bad to be ignored, or too dangerous to move on from with any level of uncertainty.
To imply that it would be incredibly hard for someone with OCD to “move on” from their obsessions, particularly if they go against that person’s nature and values, would be an understatement. The idea that there is an immediate “problem” or danger that needs to be averted or solved can feel incredibly real in those moments.
When you suffer from this condition, you desire certainty. You want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever fear OCD is whispering in your ear is false. That is because OCD tends to latch itself to the things that we feel the most strongly about, or care about most deeply. It can make us feel a strong sense of responsibility, believing that we have to always be on high alert and performing compulsions to keep the things we fear at bay.
My experience with OCD and doubt
I say this not only because I’ve seen it happen to other people, but because it happened to me, too. OCD made me doubt everything about myself. The intrusive thought at the core of all this doubt was this idea of my mind becoming “broken,” in a sense, and not knowing the difference between what was real and what wasn’t. I was so scared that the intrusive thoughts I was experiencing weren’t really OCD and were instead a sign that I was losing my grip on reality. It was terrifying.
But even in that dark place, there was hope. I didn’t stay there. I started treatment, despite my fears and doubts, and I gained the skills I needed to battle OCD. I came to understand that I do not need to attach meaning to intrusive thoughts, images, urges, or feelings. I learned that I do not need to internalize the feelings that unwanted thoughts bring into my mind. I learned that when you accept the uncertainty of an intrusive thought and stop trying to run from it or figure it out, it becomes less and less distressing.
ERP taught me to lean into fear, rather than avoiding it. By taking the treatment process step-by-step, and working side-by-side with a specialist trained in OCD and ERP, I was able to develop skills that will last me a lifetime and regain everything that I thought I had lost.
How to deal with doubts about having OCD
If you wait until you are 100% “sure” you have OCD to seek out help or treatment, you will likely never seek it out. That’s because OCD wants you to suffer. It is a condition that causes a great deal of torment, and left unchecked, it will try to keep you stuck in a place of doubt and fear.
To deal with OCD’s doubt, you must learn to approach the feelings and thoughts associated with it differently. Remember that OCD will cause people to doubt anything that is important or meaningful to them, so it makes sense that it would create uncertainty about the diagnosis itself.
One of the biggest steps that you can take is reaching out and asking for help. You don’t even have to 100% believe that you have OCD; you just have to let the experts do what they are trained to do. Let an OCD specialist—who deeply understands this condition and all of the many ways it can show up—answer the question of whether or not you have OCD.
What is the very worst that would happen? They may tell you that you are not experiencing OCD. Okay, that “could” happen—but it could also not happen. You may find that reaching out for help changes your entire life for the better, like it has for me and so many others.
Choosing trust over certainty
Instead of pursuing certainty, which is unattainable, focus on trust. Trust an OCD specialist, trust their diagnosis, and trust that exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy—the gold-standard treatment for OCD—can help you. ERP can teach you to allow uncertainty to be present without engaging in countless hours of compulsions. It can help you see your power and ability to overcome this condition, and to realize that a life where you’re living the way you want—not the way OCD wants—is possible.
If you think there is even a possibility that you are struggling with OCD, the best thing you can do is reach out to a therapist who is specialty-trained in OCD and ERP therapy. At NOCD, our therapists specialize in OCD and ERP, and they will work with you to create a personalized treatment plan based on your unique needs.
Your NOCD Therapist will teach you the skills needed to conquer OCD, supporting you throughout the treatment process and guiding you in taking manageable steps towards your goals. Our therapists are deeply passionate about the treatment of this debilitating disorder and are trained by world-renowned experts to ensure you’re getting world-class care.
To learn more about how working with a NOCD Therapist can help you start regaining your life from OCD, book a free 15-minute call with our team.